24 July 2018

When Do You Tell Him You Are Celibate?

When Do You Tell Him You Are Celibate
If you have decided to abstain from sex, congratulations! It is bold step that takes courage and the willingness to make your physical and emotional well being your priority. Taking that stance into your dating life will inevitably create some awkward and frustrating moments, the best thing to do is to be prepared for them by being clear on what your boundaries are and discussing them as early as possible with any potential partner.
I think it's important to divulge that kind of stuff early to determine compatibility. You need to determine if you want this to become something more serious than just dating before bringing the conversation to the table. What’s the point in bringing it to the table if you don’t know if it is going to lead to a serious commitment.

My celibacy is a personal decision and it isn’t a job application but revealing that part of me definitely reveals their intentions. You find out more about what type of man he is when you tell him about your boundaries. If he doesn’t respect the fact that you would draw the line when it comes to having sex then honey he isn’t worth giving the time of day to. If there’s anything I’ve learned is that there are men out there who knows what it means to respect a woman and her boundaries and still be with her. Any guy who walks away from you because you are celibate reflects his incompetence.
Sex is not the main reason for a relationship, but it is part of the relationship- hence when married couples go to counseling, one of the first things asked is, “How is your sex life” the whole celibacy trend is overrated and overwhelming. Fasting from intercourse I’m all for, but denying the body what it needs for long periods of time to stroke the religious ego is.... crazy.

Once you mention you are celibacy, most men will leave and that’s the aim, to weed out time wasters, and make room for serious candidates. From God’s perspective their rejection is for your protection. Men do wait for sex, for women they see a future with. Withholding sex won’t necessarily make him love you, but significantly, waiting allows a friendship to flourish, which leads to deep respect, trust and intimacy. If people want to walk out of your life, let them walk. A man who does not see the value in your company beyond the prospect of sex, is not the life-partner material that you are looking for, which is whole reason you're dating anyways. Allow yourself to be disappointed for a minute and then move on. Your celibacy is doing its job of acting as a filter, let it.

Waiting also builds a foundation that won’t crumble in the storm, hopefully a foundation for life.
What you do in the first six months of your relationship, really does affect the outcome. The foundation of your relationship is everything. Most importantly you’re waiting to honor God.